[in]consideration

I'm baaaack

2011-06-09T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's funny how when I have something else that I am supposed to be doing, like writing 20+ pages of research paper, I finally find the time to change my desktop background on my computer, update my web browser, prettify my background on twitter, catch up on facebook, and resurrect my blog, among other successful time-wasting ventures...

My snowboarding season is over and besides being terribly depressed at the thought of waiting months to get back on my board, I've found I suddenly have a lot more free time again. Many of my mountain friends have gone off in search of summer adventures and the rest, well, I guess I'm only cool enough to hang out with when I'm driving to the mountain. ;)

So after finals week is officially over (and I'm not just procrastinating anymore), I'll be back for good. I'll try and clean up unnecessary old posts, maybe redesign the blog, catch you up on my life, and hunker down and read all that I've missed in the last few months. Maybe one day I'll get a routine down and I will be able to keep on top of these things better. We'll see anyway...

In the meantime, I've hidden a lot of the old posts in this blog. I don't really want to get rid of them, because I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself somehow if i did that. Still, I am not that person anymore and I don't want my depressing past weighing me or any potential new readers down. Things have changed and I am moving right on forward as we all should be. <3

time again?

2011-04-03T12:15:00.001-07:00

Over the last month or so I have been toying with the idea of resurrecting this blog. Part of me wants to start a brand new one simply because the me that started this blog is not the me I am today, at all. But I guess it is the past that has made the new me who I am today, and I really ought to recognize that. Skimming over my older entries, I am amazed that I was ever with J in the first place, that I was ever even married at all. I feel so far removed from the life I had a couple of years ago. I don't really know how to describe just how it is that I feel differently now - am I older? wiser? stronger? more realistic? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe some of all of those things.

Since I last updated this blog, my crazy summer came to an end and I emerged from the ashes with a few new life lessons. Not long after, I randomly met a stranger at a bar who ended up teaching me so much more about myself in the following four months than he will probably ever know. I have discovered new hobbies and made new friends. I have worked, I have gone to school, I have chosen different roads to travel towards my goals. I have good days and I have bad days, but most importantly: I am living.

do I even bother...?

2011-01-16T00:06:00.000-08:00

Once again I've forgotten about my blog. It seems like a whole lifetime has happened since I last posted. I'm trying to settle into my new life now though, and I'd really like to share it. Maybe in good time... we'll see. ;)

I hope everyone is doing well. <3

another weekend, another plan

2010-10-02T10:44:00.000-07:00

I slept in this morning until just before 10:00, and as I was laying there in bed mentally preparing myself for the day, I thought back to how Saturday mornings used to be when I was a kid. My Saturday mornings were pretty typical - I might watch some Saturday morning cartoons, I'd eat an extra bowl of whatever sugar encrusted cereal was around at the time, then I would dart outside to play with the neighborhood kids in the sunshine. Those were the days.

Somehow it seems as if Saturdays have lost their luster. I'm sure this is partially because I am older and, to be honest, have no interest in watching cartoons anymore. If I did, I could watch them whenever I wanted on the Cartoon Network anyway, so it doesn't even matter. Besides that, for some reason when I don't have an 8 to 5 job, weekends aren't so special anymore. They are a lot like my Tuesdays and Thursdays when I don't have class. Sure, now I have two days in a row, but unless I have some activity planned that spans more than 24 hours, who really cares?

For some strange reason when I am here, I wake up on Saturday mornings and feel like I have two days to be as productive as humanly possible, as if my weekends are measured not by how much I enjoy them, but by how much I get done. Maybe this is a by-product of the remorse I feel over so many weekends at my Mom's house wasted in front of the television. Maybe it's just that I can't stand the prospect of being stuck in this place for two entire days straight. I'm not sure what it is.

The sad part is, that I am all talk. I'll wake up Saturday morning and make all these plans for what I intend to get done this weekend, and if I were to sit down on Sunday night and review those goals, I'd be disappointed every time.

This weekend my goals are:

- get all my assigned readings done for school this coming week

- get caught up on homework for my online class

- wash all of my laundry that I haven't done since coming back from vacation

- visit my Grandma

- clean my room (put away all the straggling vacation treasures, clothes, random clutter)

- go to the gym at least once; schedule an appointment with my trainer for later this week

- go to the farmer's market

- get out to see Eliza for at least a few minutes

- copy the CDs in my CD book on to iTunes (necessary since my iPod went missing in LA)

- get caught up on cycle 15 of ANTM

- make guacamole

...annnd that's all I can think of right now. My mom has basically ordered me (in a way only a mother can) to clean her house in the next week or two, so I will hopefully get started on that as well. Mom is bordering on hoarder status, for those of you who don't know, so this will most certainly be a challenge. I can't wait.

my esthetician, my therapist

2010-09-27T23:45:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it has been so long since I was on here swearing to update this blog soon. I can't believe how much has happened since then either.

I went to see my waxer today, and my waxer is like my therapist, only probably more expensive. She always asks me about my life and I always spill my guts to her without thinking twice as if that is the perfectly normal thing to do; she knows more about my personal life than a lot of my friends do. She asked about my vacation and I told her (in a few sentences) how everything went. I told her about the guy who blew me off and the new guy I met who I thought I'd never see after those two weeks we spent together and how he's just said he wants to come visit me in Oregon. I was sure to add that I didn't see that going anywhere because he's not what I need - he is too wild, too short, with too much baggage. And she said to me, as if it were nothing, "we can't help who we fall in love with."

I never said anything about love, but somehow the matter-of-fact way she spoke those words is just sticking with me... can we really not help it? If we can't, then is there some sort of override button for those times when we fall in love with someone we shouldn't? There should be.

transformation

2010-09-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

I don't doubt that I will remember this summer for a very long time.

I don't even know how to describe the last few months, only to say that they were transformative in so many different ways. I lost a lot of things, but as time moves on, I seem to be gaining even more things to replace them. I lost my husband, my house, and most of my belongings. I lost all of my money. I lost what I thought was my independence, only to discover that what I had was not even independence at all, as I am finally learning what real independence is.

I've learned that sometimes the people we have known the longest will disappoint us the most in life. Maybe that is only because we allow them to, but I haven't really figured this out yet...

I am still cleaning up the mess that J left behind when he abandoned our house and marriage. I still have a pile of bills to catch up on and no idea how I'm going to make that work. I did terribly in school this summer - I got one A, one B and one D. My first D, and only my third B. I have been beating myself up for that so much already and am just trying to do the best I can to accept it now. So my GPA dropped from the solid 3.98 I had earlier this year to a mere 3.86. Ouch. I'm kicking myself for probably losing my chances at Harvard, Stanford, and probably Berkeley too. My extracurriculars aren't that strong and I was hoping my grades and a good LSAT would do a lot for me with those schools. To make things worse, I have only just begun studying for my LSATs with any kind of regularity and the test is next month. I tried all summer but I couldn't concentrate on anything with everything hanging over my head as it was. I'm still going to look at Stanford and Berkeley Law, but I've also visited Loyola (in LA) and have visits planned to USD, USC and UCLA. When I'm up north I'll also try UC Davis and UC Hastings. I may even visit McGeorge in case I bomb the LSAT, and because they do have a good international law program from what I hear.

So these days I am visiting law schools, catching up on studying for the LSAT, and generally trying to remember how to live life again. I'm writing this post from Charlie's house down in so cal, where I've been trying to find that balance again. Besides all of the aforementioned responsibilities, I've also been on vacation! I laid out on the beach. I've been shopping. I have slept in late. I've tried to figure out this strange world of dating. I still have a lot to get through: I have the divorce to finalize, bills to straighten out, financial aid that is again delayed, and I need to find a place to live, amongst other things. But, at the same time, I am finally starting to feel a little less defeatist about my life. I've given up on the idea of completing my minor in law and legal studies and am just concentrating on finishing my major in the next two terms. I've stopped hating my ex for what he did and have accepted that this is just another bump in the road of life.

I have so much more that I want to ramble on about, mostly more about school and about how utterly confusing dating is in general. And even friendship! Ack! But this is for another post, another time, because I can't sit here all day as much as I might like to.

I'll try and catch up soon, I promise.

a quick hello

2010-08-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

These last couple weeks have been somewhat hellish for me and I haven't had time to do the usual things like homework and laundry so, needless to say, I haven't been blogging either. I haven't even been reading my favorite blogs! I am working on playing catch-up now, so expect updates soon! I am thinking of doing a little redesign as well, so we'll see how that goes. And, best of all, I'll be able to read and see what I've been missing out on.

For now, I'll simply say I am alive, my friends and family are still alive, even if not well, and I haven't forgotten about this place. I'm thinking I'll be putting eight to ten hour days in over the next few days at the computer to get reasonably caught up on all the things I need to do, but I'll get there.

xoxo.

my crazy life part I

2010-07-14T15:06:00.000-07:00

I should be working on a paper right now, but I can't seem to concentrate. I need to vent. What was supposed to be a relaxing, lazy summer is turning out to be busier and more stressful than I had imagined. Sure, I don't anticipate it being nearly as dramatic as last summer, but it sure hasn't been a smooth ride either.

I meant to write a blog entry about the past 24-36 hours to show you how insane my days have been lately, but after I documented the first hour, I'd already written so much that I have decided to break this up into a few more manageable entries. Thus, I give you: my crazy life pt I

I woke up yesterday at 9am to a very welcome phone call (thanks, A!), and while chatting, I checked my email on my phone and found a message in my inbox from the Law School Admissions Council (LSAC). Best part about this was that it was good news! I had sent in a pile of documentation last month to appeal their decision to deny me a fee waiver, and had since been asked to provide documentation confirming my divorce or separation to help them in their review process. However, for a million reasons that I won't get into now, my divorce paperwork is still in progress and hasn't been filed, let alone finalized, with the court yet. I had e-mailed weeks ago explaining my situation and asking if they would be willing to accept a letter from my legal counsel explaining that I am indeed in the process of a divorce, yet I had received no response. Since yesterday would have been my deadline to get this paperwork to them, I frantically tried to contact them again and find out what I should do. I was rather relieved to see an e-mail explaining that they would extend my deadline until July 30, and allow me some extra time to get whatever documentation I could to their offices. Simple as that! This was such good news for me, because if I can get my fee waiver approved, it will really help me with the expenses of taking my LSAT and getting my file ready for law schools this fall. If I don't get the waiver, I am going to have to sell a kidney or something to pay for my LSAT, the Credential Assembly service fee, and all those law school apps. Rumor has it that if you quality for a fee waiver through LSAC, some law schools will automatically waive your application fee. I don't know how much truth there is to this statement, but if I don't get some of these fees waived, I am seriously up a creek. I'm looking at over $1000 that I really don't have. As it is, I can't afford an LSAT test prep course, and am struggling to come up with the money even to buy some study guides for studying on my own. I kick myself every day for not seeing this coming and allowing myself to become so financially dependent on another human being. But, I digress...

After the LSAC e-mail, my day was off to a great start and I allowed myself to stop directing bad vibes in the general direction of their organization as a whole. I actually went back to sleep for a short while, feeling like I could relax since such a huge load was taken off my back with this news. When I got up for the day about an hour later, I had another bit of good news and another bit of bad news waiting for me. The good news: an e-mail from the financial aid department of the school where I am taking my summer classes. The bad news: my satellite service was dead. Stay tuned for part II to hear all about the next bit of drama for the day! ;)

if you ask me if I am really a girl one more time, I swear...

2010-07-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided that today I was going to get up early, watch Germany slaughter Uruguay in their World Cup match, then do a bit of homework and some shopping with a leftover gift card to get this shopping bug out of my system. Did I do this? Heck no.

I slept in late, watched Germany win (much to A's disappointment), played Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (hereafter referred to as MW2) with R, had a sandwich, played MW2 again, took an exam, played MW2 some more (with A this time), did a bit of homework, then was about to waste even more time playing MW2, when I realized I hadn't even eaten dinner. How awful is that? It is almost 11pm and I haven't done much at all but play video games and laze around the house.

I am hoping tomorrow will be more productive. I don't even feel like I had one of those relaxing stay-at-home days where you know, you order takeout and stay in bed all day watching chick flicks and eating ice cream. I just don't know where my motivation has gone lately! I think a lot of my problem is that a) I am taking online classes this summer (so I can travel later), and b) I don't particularly enjoy any of these classes. I guess I can't say that I hate them or anything, I'm just feeling really apathetic about everything. Maybe it is senioritis? Maybe it is the quality of the learning? Check out this great test question I came across earlier today:

I so wanted to choose "b." Seriously, why would they even put that in there? I guess we are supposed to get a good little chuckle out of it? Ahhh, college...

franklin covey should pay me for singing their praises

2010-07-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

So, an update on my letter writing plans: I haven't written any letters yet (my week isn't over!), but I actually did go visit my grandmother yesterday for a bit. I took her to a doctor's appointment then stayed and chatted with her for a bit afterward. We perused her selection of old movies on VHS and I decided we'd have to have a movie date soon... sitting around and eating ice cream with grandma in front of Casablanca (which I have never seen), sounds like a good idea to me!

So here I am, writing myself a note in my planner to call Grandma and schedule a movie date for sometime in the future, and I started thinking...I am turning into one of THEM. You know who I am talking about: the person who pulls out a planner filled with penciled reminders in all the margins, sticky notes attached to the pages; every important aspect of life is precariously contained within those two canvas-covered cardboard pages. (Yes, I was too cheap to buy the leather planner, but I am rethinking this strategy now.) I started out writing down doctor's appointments, vacations, and birthdays. Totally sane. Then, I'd write down special events, dinners I'd planned with friends, exam dates, etc. Now, I attach a sticky note to the end of each week detailing my homework assignments that are due for that week. I write down due dates for bills, dates I filed paperwork, phone numbers, lists, blog posts, web addresses, paint colors I like, movies to watch, and books to read. I have a small collection of business cards and receipts gathering between the covers. I absolutely hate when I leave the house without it and I am asked to make an appointment or schedule anything, because I feel like if I don't write it down then, I never will. Oh, and I have to write EVERYTHING in pencil. So, if I leave home with the planner but no pencil, it's like leaving the house dressed but without shoes.

This is a great thing for me because now I can schedule appointments weeks and even months in advance. I rarely forget when I have to be somewhere or who it was I talked to about something. I'm not late for appointments, I don't forget when assignments are due, and I am able to follow up on business matters after x amount of time has passed without having to rack my brain to figure out how long ago I sent in that paperwork in the first place. On the other hand, this whole planner thing is bad for me because a) I now have to make sure I carry a large enough purse to accommodate my planner and b) I am turning into one of THOSE people. My friend made fun of me for this last night, as I tried to finalize my summer vacation plans with him. He called me up and said, "what did you want to talk about," to which I responded "give me a minute..." And he pauses and says, "you made a list, didn't you?" His tone was playful but I couldn't help but hear a bit of judgment in there... is it so wrong that I want to be more organized, though? Have I taken it too far?

When I was later criticizing the aforementioned friend for being so unavailable during a rough time in my life I told him I couldn't see why he couldn't find 15 minutes in his day to talk with me. Busy is one thing, I said, but come on, fifteen minutes? That is like 1% of your day. One percent!! And he says to me, "did you actually do the math on that one?" I paused, and he says "because I can totally see you doing that." So what, I did the math. Makes a better point when you hear how small of a percentage 15 minutes really adds up to, doesn't it? Haha.

Maybe I am a bit crazy sometimes, who knows. That's just me. And I have to be organized if I want to practice law. I have these moments where I think I won't ever make it (like this summer, when I am bogged down with school work and I feel like I am drowning), but I just have to keep focused and move ahead. I know there are people behind me, even though I don't hear it every day; I just need to remember the positive things. A good friend of mine said last night, that he was talking about me to another friend of his (whom I don't know) and he said "how [I was] a super bright person" and "so bright [I] will be an amazing lawyer." Score one point for me. At least I know there is one person in my corner, even if my other friends are starting to think I'm crazy. ;)

wait a minute mr postman

2010-07-05T22:39:00.001-07:00

You know what I really miss? postcards! and letters! I miss getting things that aren't bills in the mail! Whatever happened to writing to those that you care about? I am not saying we all need to go out and write our Aunt Gertrude and third-cousin Suzy every week, but what about the people that hold a special place in our hearts that we don't get to see very often? I can't remember the last time I have received an actual, legit, letter via snail mail... I know it has been years. I barely remember the last e-mail I got that was more than five or six lines long that wasn't spam. When my ex was in Iraq, we e-mailed back and forth for awhile, but that was it. And even that was more of a rarity after the first month. Sometimes I will send Facebook messages back and forth with friends, but that is really about it. As for everyone else, it is the era of the text message. Anytime any one of us has something to say, we just shoot off a text and, voila! I suppose it gets the job done, and I am a texting fiend myself, but it just isn't quite the same.

Sure, getting an picture message from someone with a snapshot of a crazy lady in Wal-Mart can be fun. I love that I can see how the weather is at the beach thirty seconds after you have. But none of this compares to that neat feeling you get when you open your mailbox and there's a postcard from a friend, mailed from some podunk town somewhere along their summer road trip. Maybe it is because you know, when you open that postcard or that letter, that that friend had to make an effort to get that to you. He or she had to purchase the postcard or the stationary. Then, there was some writing involved. After that, stamps had to be acquired and your address had to be looked up. Then your friend made a special trip to take the mail to the post office or mailbox, and the postal workers did all kinds of work to bring that piece of paper halfway across the country to you two days later. Writing a letter isn't an afterthought. It's not something you can do while at a stoplight, in line at the grocery store, or, God forbid, on the toilet (yes, I know people who do this).

A few years back, an internet friend of mine proposed that we start some sort of underground mail gang thing. I know he sent me a really awesome letter to start things off, but I don't know if I ever even replied back. I wish I had. I wish we still had pen pals, too! I love technology and all that, but sometimes I feel like it doesn't really bring us together after all, but instead keeps us all a safe distance apart.

I am writing myself a note right now: write letters this week. I know that I won't do it just because I said I would, so let's just say this...if I don't write (and mail!) at least two letters and/or postcards in the next seven days, I will give up Facebook for a week. Okay, at least a weekend. Wish me luck!

hush hush

2010-06-07T18:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a good secret that just bubbled up inside of you all day long, dying for you to share it with not just someone, but everyone? The kind of secret that makes it impossible to concentrate on anything else? One that keeps you up at night, yet keeps you going all day long on full speed anyway? A secret that makes it difficult to eat, to work, to concentrate on all of your comparatively unimportant daily tasks? The kind of secret that almost seems to sustain you all on its own?

There is something inherently different about these happy secrets--they seem to have an energy about them that drives you and distracts you and just oozes out of you until you think you're about to go crazy from trying to internalize something so absolutely monumental.

It is like those first-day-of-school jitters, the excitement of an upcoming vacation, the news of a big promotion, and the agony of waiting to be reunited with a lover, all at once.

If you're lucky enough to have one person to share your secret with, you feel like all you can talk about is "the secret." You never tire of discussing your secret ad infinitum, and awaiting the day, together, when your secret is spilled to the rest of the world. You bond over your secret, and talking to anyone else seems unable to satiate your need for human connection anymore, because noone else can give you what your secret-sharer can.

But the question remains to be answered: what is the shelf-life of a secret? When will it start to go stale? Will it cease to be enough and send you looking for something more? If you share your secret, will it be some sort of cathartic release or will the magic of your secret fade away as it is absorbed into the world? Or will a new secret take its place, slipping into your life just as quickly as the first, surprising you with that familiar electrifying energy?

I will be sure to let you know as soon as I find out. ;)

direction

2010-06-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

I've been playing around with the idea of deleting the old entries in this blog and starting over with something more cohesive, sticking to a theme or at least omitting any potentially inappropriate ramblings about my personal life. I have given a fair amount of thought to the direction I could go with this blog: I could have a fashion blog; I could blog about my experiences getting ready for law school; I could use this as a forum to rant about politics and current events and all things deemed inappropriate to discuss at dinner.

There are a million paths I could choose, but I really don't want to constrain myself that way. If I chose to write about one specific subject, it wouldn't really be an accurate representation of me! Besides, there are already tons of fashion blogs, political commentators, etc. And there is only one ME. So, if you are reading my blog, you'll get a little bit of everything...the good and the bad. Read at your own risk. ;)

dream guilt

2010-06-04T16:43:00.001-07:00

In a dream I had last night, I made excuses to a houseguest about the pile of dishes in my sink, explaining that the dishwasher was broken and I just hadn't had the time to take care of them.

When I went to put my butter knife in the sink this morning, I remembered that dream. After pausing for a moment to consider just what kind of person dreams about unwashed dishes (?!??), I decided I had better just suck it up and wash the darn things. Now, don't be too horrified, because the dishes really weren't that bad. None of my dishes were growing anything--although I will admit a couple of them looked a little filmy. But, I digress. The point is, I washed the dishes. In a few minutes, I plan on putting a load of laundry in. This weekend I will wash all of our bedding and vacuum the couch if all goes well. I also intend to have two of my three final papers done before I go to bed on Monday night.

I realize this sounds like an ambitious weekend, considering that I also intend to go to the library, have dinner with mom, do my nails, take a few things back to the store, and relax a bit. I need to start my pre-packing routine, getting everything organized and listing a few things on Craigslist. I was supposed to take my first practice (proctored) LSAT tomorrow, but I am thinking I will have to attend the afternoon test a couple weeks from now, as I am only human after all.

I feel like I've been moping around long enough about all this man-drama. My feeling are not going to go away on their own, but having a messy house and some awful grades in school are not going to fix those feelings either. Neither is fighting with my mom and forgetting to clean out the cat's litter box. (Sorry Hobbes!)

As part of my new motivated self, I intend to update this blog more often. During the day I'll often think of things--sometimes I'll even jot down notes--that I want to put in my blog. Then I'll get home and sit down at my computer and I'll just forget or my desire to talk about whatever it was has seemingly disappeared. I know that once I start typing, I get into what I'm saying and can go on for days though, so I just need to learn to push past that. Wish me luck.

Kitschy Internet Time Wasters

2010-05-05T13:17:00.001-07:00

I am one sad, sad blogger.

I never post anything on here, and when I do, it is usually something ridiculous and completely random, despite the fact that I swear I have tons of meaningful and well thought out things to say.

Right now I am working on a midterm, and unless I finish it in record time, I won't be posting anything of substance today either. Instead, I will just ask how it is that I have never seen these before:

Seriously? Family gift exchanges would have been so much more fun had I known the Onion had these! I can just imagine my grandma eagerly unwrapping her gift and discovering the "coffee talkies" or the "visor-ganizer" inside. If you know my grandma, you will know that she'd probably not only fall for it, but would more than likely think it is a really nifty idea. She goes for those strange gadget-y things, it is part of why we love her. When I drew her name for Christmas a couple years ago, I remember her asking for an eyeglass holder. I had no idea what she was talking about, but it turns out it was this classy little thing:

Personally, if I were to find myself in need of an "eyeglass holder," I would have gone for this one:

I do, however, find myself intrigued by yet another gift for grandma: the giant television remote. I am not visually challenged, but there is just something kind of fun and silly about oversized objects. If you are as easily amused as I am, I suggest checking out www.greatbigstuff.com - I mean, where else can you get a giant toothbrush, a giant guitar pick, and a giant monopoly shoe in one place? And if you work in an office, you may appreciate the great big message pad - I know there have been many times in my life that I wish I had one of these. As a matter of fact, I could use one at home too, since my husband conveniently never sees the notes I leave him, especially if I am asking him to do something. I am sure I can't be the only one with this problem, lol.

In all seriousness though, I do think I will get myself some "Great Big Paper Clips." I could surely use these for the massive piles of schoolwork that are taking over my life. I feel like my desk (and my life) is being overrun by pages of printed out Supreme Court opinions. I know I could read them online, but there is just something about having paper in my hands that seems to help me learn. I suppose law school will be much much worse than all this... I have a feeling it will be one long love/hate relationship for me. Unfortunately, I will never make it to law school if I don't get back to my midterm, so off I go!

like fruit bats

2010-04-23T01:30:00.000-07:00

The other day I was watching The Vampire Diaries at the CW website, and they had this box off to the side with vampire trivia and other funny little blurbs. I saved this one to my computer because I found it rather hilarious, check this out:
Come on, now. Vampire fruit?? Even Stephen looks confused. What the heck is up, CW? Did people ever really believe such things??

I am sure J and others who can't seem to fully appreciate the joy that is The Vampire Diaries would comment that the intelligence level of those who watch the show is probably so low, on average, that that weird little fruit bat thing might actually make sense. Or maybe not. Either way, I have a feeling that I am thinking about this waaay too much. I think I'll just have another giggle and go watch the episodes of the show I still haven't gotten caught up on.

J has his ride-along with the police/sheriff/someone overnight tomorrow night, so I am looking forward to some peace and quiet to get caught up on blogging and commenting and homework and all other things computer-related tomorrow night and Saturday while he sleeps off his adventure.

In the meantime, in the spirit of my guilty teenage vampire television drama, I will leave you with a picture of one of my favorite vampire families:
I can't decide which of the Salvatore brothers is hotter. My mind changes from episode to episode and sometimes more often than that. They are both so different and I know I should pick Stephan, hands down, because Damon is a complete jerk, but there is something about him that makes me think that he's not really a jerk deep down. I think it is that whole thing about women always thinking they can change men. I dunno. I do realize they are television characters and none of this is remotely relevant to real life, but hey, their TV life is SO much more fun than my boring adult life. =P

shiny new things that keep me up late

2010-04-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

After a marathon grocery shopping trip and catching up on Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on my DVR, I figured I ought to clean out my e-mail before bed. I get a lot of junk e-mails from stores and clothing sales websites and whatnot, and a lot of the time I just delete all of them before I even open them, yet for some reason I can't bring myself to unsubscribe from the mailing lists. But, I digress...

I had an e-mail in my box from Bed Bath & Beyond, where I had been earlier today purchasing a set of stools for our kitchen island with my 20% off coupon. (I am on a coupon rampage lately, but more on that later.) I got these, in case anyone cared, and we are liking them so far! They look a little too shiny in the picture, but I think they work in our house:

But, back on topic. The lovely folks at B3 actually spammed me about something interesting this time! Not something I will probably ever buy, but I was interested nonetheless. If I ever win the lottery or J gets an amazing job or I wake up with my law degree tomorrow by some miracle, I'd love to have one of these: the Dyson Air Multiplier. Have you guys seen this?

It is basically a blade-less fan. I can't seem to wrap my head around how it works, which I suppose is a big part of why it appeals to me so much. But the dang thing costs between $299.99 and $329.99. Since I don't have any children I can't use the excuse that the peace of mind that would come with this thing is priceless, and I can't think of any other way to sucker someone into getting one of these for me. C-Net even reviewed it and they didn't trash the thing, so it must be legit. Riiight?

So I may just have to trek my little butt back to B3 and check this thing out. I don't know why I am so intrigued by new technology; my husband always says he thinks I am a man in a woman's body because I love old man furniture, the smell of cigar smoke, and all this random Sharper Image style techie stuff. I don't think I could handle living with the limitations of a man's wardrobe or a certain piece of anatomy I'm glad I don't have to carry around... so I am glad I'm a girl, thank you very much.

(I just realized how all over the place this blog post is, and my rational mind is saying "erase this, rewrite it tomorrow when you aren't so sleep deprived," but the other half of me just says "aw heck leave it, don't deny who you are." So there you have it, I am a complete and total scatterbrain when I am tired. My apologies.

the naked chef vs. French homework: who do you think wins?

2010-03-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

I have really been slacking off on posting, but I promise you, I have not given up just yet! Spring term started this week and I am still trying to get used to my new schedule, but I will get there soon. I am thinking about dropping my French class to save time and money, studying on my own this summer, and picking up at the next level in the fall. I just don't know if it is a good decision or not; the jury is still out.

Today I don't have class until 6:40pm, so I had planned to stay home and relax, catch up on TV shows and blogs, and do my homework for tonight and Thursday. But here it is, 3pm, and I still haven't done much of anything at all! I still need to shower, stop by my mom's house, read a gazillion blogs, and do all of my homework. Oopsies.

As for what I did do today: I slept in, and I watched the first part of "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution." My mom had given me a (rather detailed) description of the show when I talked to her the other day, although she had no idea who Jamie Oliver even was, and simply referred to him as "that British guy." Anyway, I watched the first hour and I really enjoyed the show! I can't wait to see more!

In the series, Jamie goes to Huntington, West Virginia, a town found to be the most obese in the entire nation. He is on a mission to transform their unhealthy eating habits, in large part by changing the menu at the local elementary school. I will admit, it is a bit cheesy and preachy. But at the same time, there is something inspiring about the whole thing.

Maybe it is just because I have had this growing annoyance with our own unhealthy eating habits at this house and I somehow feel a little less crazy when I see how fanatical Jamie Oliver gets about the lack of vegetables in one family's diet. Maybe it is because I find Mr. Naked Chef to be rather cute and charming at times. Maybe it's just the hair. Who knows.

Either way, if you find yourself at home with your cat on Friday night, don't feel bad about yourself and get out the rom coms and ice cream - just flip on ABC. Or just sneak in some Hulu time when you're supposed to be studying for some class that you'll never really use in real life anyway. I can't exactly have a proper discussion about a TV show with anyone that lives in my house, so this is where you guys come in. And how can you say no to that face anyway, hmm? ;)

a bit of pointless chatter to prove I am still alive:

2010-03-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

I survived finals week but was in a sort of intellectual coma most of the weekend as a result. John and I went downtown, I have watched a few movies, eaten way too much, and slept way too little in the last few days. I also seem to have caught a shopping bug that I just can't quite shake (which I will elaborate on later).

Here it is, almost 4am and I am still awake, trying to catch up on life... I added a bunch of new blogs to my reading list tonight, and am looking forward to catching up on all this new reading! Also on the agenda for the week: seeing my waxer tomorrow, coloring my hair, visiting with Eliza, catching up on 2 terms of French lessons, and a whole lot of lazing around in bed. I have plans that require me to leave the house both tomorrow and Wednesday, but I have already set Thursday aside for staying in my pajamas and watching DVDs on Netflix the entire day. I'll even have take out delivered if I get hungry.

I also hope to get a head start on some homework for next term, finish ALL of my laundry (since it always feels like I have a new wardrobe when all of my clothes are clean), organize my closet, and stain my kitchen tables. I should also be able to take some real, non-cell-phone pictures this week, as I am slowly working through my digital camera dilemma. Since most of you probably haven't heard about my camera issues, a recap: The last time I left Kansas, I lost the battery for my Canon Digital Elph between the front door of Bekah's house and my car. On the way home, I purchased another little Nikon camera to hold me over until I could replace the battery for my Canon. I slacked off for a long time until I misplaced the charger cord for the Nikon during our last move. Then I ordered a replacement battery for my Canon from Amazon.com, since I always liked that camera better anyway. Only, when it got here, I realized I had no idea where the charger for that one had gone either! Fast forward a couple of weeks and the charger has been located, the battery has been charged, and I am powering up the Canon camera... success! Except for the little message on the screen alerting me that there is no memory card in the camera. I found the memory card case, but unfortunately it was empty and my quest to get together a working camera setup continues. Still, I am a lot closer than I was and I can't wait to start taking pictures again.

If you bothered to read my lengthy dialogue about my camera problems, feel free to laugh. While I do blame some of my troubles on the multiple cross country moves, there is no doubt that I am more than a little scatterbrained at times. More so now than ever that the sleep deprivation is really kicking in... maybe someday I will learn that nothing good can ever come out of blogging at 4am and accept that some things are better left for the morning. *sigh*

only on tuesdays

2010-03-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like one big walking contradiction.

After I finished my second final and dropped my mom at her physical therapy appointment, I went across the street to treat myself to a manicure. It was a new salon and my manicurist wasn't much of a talker so I just sat there and thought and stared at the waiting nail polish bottle on the table in front of me. And I thought. All kinds of random things mostly, as I studied the cars pulling in and out of the Costco gas station outside the window.

One of the manicurists had her toes painted this really neat dark purple color, and for some reason I started thinking how that would be a good toe color with the pale pink that was going on my fingernails. Then I got to thinking about how funny it was that I wouldn't normally consider putting that dark color on my fingernails, only my toes. If I did put such a daring color on my hands that would be a statement for me. A statement! I am so beige and ballet pink and plain that dark nails would be a leap for me. Having 1/4 of my arm and then some covered in tattoos is fine, but green nail polish would be a no-go in my book. How does that make sense?

I left the dark eye makeup and funky hair colors behind about five years ago. Now, my husband calls my haircut a "soccer mom" style, and although I think he exaggerates more than slightly, I am way less exciting than I once was.

I prefer a good piano piece to a wild guitar solo nowadays. I find myself changing the radio in the car to country because if I hear another Lady Gaga song I think I will go insane. If I had it my way I'd be asleep before 1am and my living room would look more like a magazine spread than something thrown together in a fraternity house. I clip coupons and like my car clean and meals that have a meat, a starch, and veggies. My husband says I'm like an old man inside, and I wonder if it's true.

Yet, I still want another half an arm of tattoos at least. I like funky jewelry and loud nights out and bad boys on motorcycles. Maybe I am a cliche, maybe I am a walking contradiction, maybe I am just growing up. I can't decide.

explanation

2010-03-15T01:17:00.001-07:00

I swore to myself I was going to do better about updating this thing, and write about something more interesting than what I had for dinner or how many loads of laundry I did this weekend. Sadly, I haven't been doing much of anything these last few days besides studying for finals, so excuse my absence while my brain is busy with copious amounts of reading I should have done four or five weeks ago.

I have my Intro to Psychopathology exam tomorrow morning, worth the smallest percentage of my three finals, at only 30% of my grade. UGH. BIG HUGE UGGGGH.

One half of my brain is telling me I should head straight to the library after to study for my Oregon Politics final which will be Tuesday morning and 40% of my grade, but the other half of my brain is loudly protesting, suggesting I come home and take a nap first instead. We'll see which side wins...

right there with the peep toe boot if you ask me:

2010-03-13T01:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I will (somewhat shamefully) admit that I have a real weakness for clothes from Hollister. I know I am no longer a teenage girl, I don't live near the beach anymore and I have no real logistical need for ANY of their clothes, but there is something comforting about them for me. I love going in and stocking up on t-shirts and v-neck sweaters, hoodies, tank tops and other basics. This winter I was especially thrilled with their collection of big, cozy sweaters... I honestly felt like I was wearing my blanket around with me some days without exactly looking like I was.

When I got my most recent e-mail spam from them I hopped on over to the website to check out whats "new" for spring/summer. I headed straight for the clearance first, as usual, then went to look at their other stuff. While browsing, I came across the strangest thing: a hooded tank top. It seems counter intuitive in so many different ways, and truthfully, my first instinct is to say, "how stupid!" Yet, for some reason, I keep going back to it, trying to figure out how/if it could actually work in real life. I don't like the print on the front at all, but part of me wants to buy one just to see how the heck it looks on an actual human being. Am I crazy for being so strangely curious?

Oh, and in case you can't seem to form an adequate mental picture of a what a tank-top-hoodie should look like, I will make things simple for you. Feast your eyes on this:

I can almost imagine this working rather well if it were black, incredibly oversized, and had slightly wider straps, more like a sleeveless top than a racer back tank. But that's not what this is at all, and I am STILL INTRIGUED! Aaaargh.

See how I manage to drive myself crazy sometimes? I should be studying for finals, but this is what I am doing instead. That, and watching "I'm Reed Fish" on Netflix. Am I ever going to be in trouble come Monday morning when the reality that I can't fill an exam book on how one certain tank top accurately describes Oregon's political landscape hits me smack in the face...

cuteness alert

2010-03-11T00:23:00.000-08:00

Meet Sura.

Excuse the cell phone pictures, but I wanted to share her asap, and I still haven't managed to find a camera that matches a battery that matches a charger since our last move.

Anyway, enough about my lack of organization skills - on to the story!

On Sunday night, when I picked J up from his reserve drill, he suggested we stop at the Humane Society on the way home. Of course, I didn't argue because who doesn't love puppies and kittens? We had been sort of playing around with the idea of getting another dog for a while since trying to walk the cat was just not working out so well, amongst other things. Our cat is the bestest, no doubt, but he kind of likes to do his own thing a lot of the time. And if you put him on a leash and take him outside, he just tends to roll around on the pavement and ignore whoever or whatever may be waiting on him. But, I digress.

So, J and I had been tossing around the idea of getting a dog, but we weren't really in the final planning stages just yet. Then again, we rarely ever make it to the final planning stages for most things in life, and I should know this by now and start planning accordingly. But sometimes the spontaneity is half the fun of it. =)

On about round three of walking around the kennels on Sunday, we saw two little puppies being put into one of the pens. We fussed over them for a minute or two, like everyone else, then went back to looking for our dog-to-be. Then J decided we might as well ask to meet with one of the cuteness monsters while we were asking about the other dogs we were interested in. As fate would have it, the other dogs we were considering ended up being on hold for someone else, so we met with one of the puppies. She was just like most puppies, cute and rambling, and full of spunk. J decided right away that we just had to take her home.

After a very short discussion that really wasn't much of a discussion at all, J and I decided to take the plunge and get the puppy. We figured that since she was so young, we could start her training off right and she'd also be more likely to get along with our cat, Hobbes, than a dog who had already been alive long enough to realize what brats cats can be. And if she didn't, he could probably beat her up because they are about the same size right now, as you can see here. Also, note that despite Sura having only been in the house for about a half an hour when this photo was taken, Hobbes is already being his usually cocky, ambivalent self.

On her first night at the house, Sura got to know the cat and poked around the house, and generally behaved amazingly well. She is mostly potty trained already, and barely whined at all when we put her in her crate or in the gated master bath while we slept. In fact, after that first night, she's already been allowed free reign of the downstairs when we're sleeping or gone for a short time. She's taken us on a few romps through the woods, and she seems to be getting along just swimmingly with Hobbes. She is an awesome addition to our crazy little family so far.

wild nights

2010-02-28T13:23:00.001-08:00

I spent my Saturday night making the rounds at the local drugstores and grocery stores, buying all the things we needed before the ad paper expired at midnight. What an excruciatingly uninspiring Saturday night. I've heard this is what happens when you get old, get married, and have to wait until the kids go to bed before you get anything done... But wait, we don't have kids. And I'm not even really that old either. I have absolutely no excuse for spending a Saturday night like that.

When I realized - with an appropriate amount of horror - that this was not how any sane person would choose to spend a weekend, I tried to rationalize my actions. I told myself that not every Saturday night has to be a wild night of debauchery. Even the most fun person has to spend some weekends making the rounds stocking up on cases of water, candy and blueberries, riiiight? We all need a break sometimes. Unfortunately, nights like this are the rule, rather than the exception.

I came home and had pizza with my husband, who brought out some beer only to determine that it was not up to his standards, so he poured it down the drain. He settled in to watch youtube videos of people shooting stuff, while I flipped between an Amanda Bynes movie on Lifetime and recorded episodes of Man vs. Wild. I do love me some Bear Grylls, but it was not really enough to shake the feeling that I should have been doing something more. I fell asleep slightly after 1am with my assigned reading from my Constitutional History class.

I should be cleaning the house, visiting the library, and working on homework today, but in light of my disappointment with myself after last night, I think shopping is in the cards. Wish me luck.

sometimes looking forward to nothing is enough

2010-02-16T01:19:00.000-08:00

I would love it if there were a few extra hours in the day. Seriously, I would. I don't think there is any question that I could use a few more hours for sleeping. On the other hand, I will totally settle for being able to move faster and get things done at superhuman speeds.

Since neither of those things are likely to ever happen, I am going to schedule myself a day of nothingness. Kind of like when I used to take a mental health day off from work. I am going to block out an entire day (I am thinking my first free day, as a matter of fact), and not schedule anything! Instead of running around all crazy, I will stay in bed in my pajamas, have food delivered, and munch on popcorn and ice cream. I'll laze around and put on a face mask and give myself a pedicure and get caught up on my movie-watching. I will not go out and run errands. I will not do dishes or laundry or anything resembling cleaning, for that matter. I will refuse to do taxi duty, and I will leave the mail in the mailbox for the next day.

My only difficulty will be trying to find a way to keep J occupied so he doesn't cramp my laziness style...ooh waaait a minute...he has reserve weekend in about two weeks! I think I have just found my day. I can't wait. =)

hello weekend

2010-02-11T20:09:00.001-08:00

THANK GOD MIDTERMS ARE OVER.

I took my last midterm today and I don't feel that I did as well as I did on my earlier midterm for my US Constitutional History class, but I think I did okay. I have another exam on Tuesday, so there is little time to rest. This next one is only 50 multiple choice questions, so that is somewhat of a relief. Nevertheless, I think I'll spend a good part of my weekend buried in psychology notes for that one, cases on religion and first amendment rights for my other class, and maybe doing some research for my Oregon Politics class on where to get a paper publish and what to write about that people might actually care to read.

Besides homework, my goals for the weekend are to straighten up the house, do all the excess laundry, organize my closet, and do everything on my whiteboard to-do list.

Now that I have that affirmation out of the way and can hold myself accountable if I don't follow through, I can stop talking to myself about boring adult things and move on to something better.

But what?

I actually started making a list in the back of my new planner (see, I am actually using it!) of things that I want to talk about, and I hope that will help me remember all those random things that just pop into my head throughout the day. You know, those things that you either love or that irk you in some way that makes you feel as if you could write an entire book about it at that very moment if only you had the time? Those things.

I am also going to make a conscious effort to take some pictures to put up in here, because we all know everything is way less boring with pictures. I actually ordered a new battery for my old camera so that I could use it again, only to find that I'd lost the charger. So I'll have to find some battery/charger/camera combo that matches up and get to work. I'd love to buy a nice new camera, but I am afraid that it will just be another one of those things that I swear I'll use but don't. (Do you sense a pattern here??)

doing more things in less time

2010-02-08T00:17:00.001-08:00

Today, I wrote myself a note on the mirror that said "do more in less time." This is one of my major goals these days - to streamline my life and get more done. However, the more I think about where I am at in my life, the more things I think of that I'd like to do with my time or that I really should be doing. I feel like there should be more than enough hours in the days for me to do what needs doing, yet I always seem to run out of time. So I've started out on an organizational quest. My new buzzword is going to be "diligence." I feel like I procrastinate too much and waste time like no other, and this is going to have to stop if I want to get into law school, let alone survive my first year. Add that to finding a job, keeping up on the house, helping my mom out, and all the other everyday things that I just can't avoid. Beyond that, I'd like to take up some hobbies - I would like to update this blog regularly, I'd like to learn how to golf, and how to shoot, I would like to take horseback riding lessons and learn to play piano. I want to take weekend trips to the Gorge or the beach and get out and see the place I live in. But, in order to do these things I have got to make time, without neglecting the things I am already doing, and without running myself half to death 20+ hours a day. To do this I figured I have got to get organized.

I am starting out with a few basic things and we'll see how it goes before I jump in one hundred percent. I bought a planner to keep track of appointments and school assignments and various deadlines. I penciled in the things I already have scheduled for the next couple weeks and was surprised to find that I really don't have all that much written down. This just reinforces my thoughts that I do have enough time, I just need to learn how to manage it. I also brought home a large white whiteboard (about two by three feet), which I mounted on the office wall with some difficulty and very little help from J. I then put up two pictures above the desk for inspiration: the first has a picture of Gandhi with the quote "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." across the bottom. The other features JFK, and reads: "One person can make a difference and every person should try." I am hoping that when I get fed up with studying and lean back in my chair and glare at the wall in frustration, I will see these pictures and they will remind me that I need to keep trying. Of course in my moment of optimism I think it should be that easy; the hard part is keeping up the positive attitude...

Figures

2010-02-01T22:46:00.001-08:00

Why is it that every time I think of something that I feel like I ought to write down in here, I am never at the computer and I never remember to go write it later? I'm beginning to think I am just destined to fail at keeping a blog or anything of the sort.

*sigh*

updates from the fam damily

2009-11-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

I called my mom today for something to do while I was dashing around returning movies, picking up takeout and buying ice cream. I asked her how Thanksgiving went and found out that my family never tells me anything anymore! For those of you who don't know me, I have seven cousins who are relatively close to me in age. I practically grew up with two of them and saw them just about daily for many years. A few of the others live two towns over and I usually see them a couple times a year and keep in touch with them through Facebook. Well, come to find out, one of them had a baby A MONTH AGO and no one told me. Another one (one of the cousins I grew up with) is engaged and getting married in January and no one bothered to tell me that either. So here I am, on the phone with Mom, can't think anything but a bit "WTF?!?" and she calmly says "I thought you knew" and "hmm... I swore we talked about this..." No, Mom, we most certainly did not talk about this.

About an hour has passed and I've eaten my takeout and am working my way through a brownie and my Marriage and Family homework, and I still can't get over how out of touch I've grown with my family. I haven't spoken with one set of grandparents in ages (years?), my closest Grandma in many months, my dad in who knows how long or my half-sister in even longer. And don't even get me started on friends - I can go weeks without seeing my friend who lives in the next town over and I probably wouldn't know if any of my friends back home fell off the face of the earth until I ran into a friend of a friend at the grocery store a couple years later. With all the technology available these days you would think that keeping in touch would be easier, it would be second nature or something, but no. Not unless we work at it anyway. I'm thinking maybe I'll have to do that, starting with a few half crazed e-mails to a couple cousins of mine...

spring has sprung

2009-05-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day today, mid 80s and SUNNY! I totally put off writing my ethics paper yesterday because J and I were fighting and I just couldn't get motivated, and today I ran errands and ate pizza and reveled in the sunshine... so no paper today either. I am so bad about these things but I'm not quite stressing yet because I am in a weird state of sunshine-induced euphoria. Okay, not quite euphoria, but I am in a better mood than usual.

Even though I am completely broke this week (long story, not sharing) I bought a couple new pairs of flip flops and a small collection of air fresheners for the house so hopefully it will smell less like cat and more like nice for a while. My room currently smells AMAZING thanks to some hawaiian flower blend, and I am loving it. Its the little things in life that really matter these days.

Things I am happy for this week: Pizza Schmizza burrito pizza, Killian's Irish Red, Reef flip flops, air fresheners, sunshine, staying friends with someone for nearly 15 years, spray tans, and scary movies.

Tomorrow my Books vs. Movies club is meeting to see Angels & Demons at the theater and I think I am actually going to go. It will be the first meeting I've actually attended if I do. I still have about 200 pages left in the book (I have read it before, but don't remember it much), so I am going to be buried in that the next hour or so and a bit tomorrow morning. Guess that paper is just going to have to wait a little longer!! I can't believe it is almost Sunday already!!!! This weekend went by TOO fast!

trying to motivate myself

2009-05-15T00:46:00.001-07:00

I can't count how many times I have thought to myself that I want to try and remember to update this blog more... I manage to update my status on facebook all the damn time but never this thing. I signed up for twitter and only tweeted(?) once. Apparently the internet is just not my forte anymore.

I got a new computer for school once mine bit the dust so I am hoping that in my excitement to use it more I will learn to update this blog and it will be a habit I will keep. Sometimes during the day I will randomly think of something I would really like to write about, and a lot of the time its actually kinda funny or even a bit profound - but then I forget to sign on and get it together.

Pretty soon I am going to have a blog composed entirely of posts where I talk about how I swear I am going to post more, just you wait...

2009-04-18T01:30:00.001-07:00

Stolen from my driveway this morning:
- all but the front pages of the New York Times
- the gasoline from Dan's gas tank in his Bronco

My neighbors can barely speak english... what would they want with the NYT? The theory is that they used it to contain the gas that spilled while they were siphoning the gas from the truck...

Who knows.

2009-04-06T01:36:00.001-07:00

The way to a girl's heart is most definitely through shoes.

tomorrow = the end of the world?

2009-03-29T23:52:00.001-07:00

I start school tomorrow at Portland State, and while I am repeatedly assured that classes there are not that hard, I am still nervous as hell. I completely forgot to buy a notebook or anything to write with, so hopefully I won't have to write anything down. (Okay, really I am going to stop at Target on the way to class because I just can't stand being that massively unprepared.) I didn't buy any books because the girl in admissions suggested that I wait and see if the professors actually said we needed them and I am beginning to feel that somehow I have made the biggest mistake EVER. It is so scary and so very unlike me.
On a positive note, once I learn how to type on that hellspawn that is my new netbook, I will hopefully be updating this blog more. Maybe even with pictures. Either way, I really ought to have something more exciting to write about after tomorrow and no one will have to read about what my cat did that day or what I had for dinner. I hope I don't prove myself wrong on that one...

robsessed

2009-03-27T16:36:00.001-07:00

It is official.
Last night I had a dream about Robert Pattinson. And no, not as Edward, but as himself. I was sitting at the beach as the sun started to go down, hanging out with some old friends, and Rob shows up. Apparently he was trying to hide out from all the crazy Twi-hards and the stalkarazzi that keep cramping his style and spreading rumors about how he doesn't shower. We invited him to come hang out later but he was scared to leave the beach and head into the light because he was afraid someone would recognize him and his day would be ruined. I told him that I thought it was lame that people kept freaking out over him, since he is just a normal person and all. Meanwhile, I was texting Eliza, "OME! I am sitting here talking to Rob Pattinson RIGHT NOW!!" Still, I kept up a cool exterior, and I was proud of myself for that.
Dream Rob was actually a nice, down-to-earth guy, and I enjoyed our conversation because, unlike most people I know IRL, he reads actual books, and not just as required for school. We sat on a porch swing like old people and had a couple of beers. Dream Rob was rather quiet and did not smell, if you must know...

Pointless

2009-03-23T01:35:00.000-07:00

Eliza and I totally went to Forks this weekend for the Twilight DVD release party. And yes, I know, pics or it didn't happen so they will come soon.
In the meantime, however, I am going to go watch the movie and wish I was Bella, even though I should be sleeping since I have to go to the airport in about three hours.

There was absolutely no point in me even logging in to write this, in case there was any question. I really should get one of those twitter things so I don't waste blog real estate talking about my love of fictional characters...

Staying up all night: Y/N?

2009-03-18T21:43:00.001-07:00

I need to get on some kind of new schedule. I am not working and I'm not even back in school yet, but I can't seem to find the time to get anything done. Maybe its just that I can't be bothered? Although, that doesn't seem like a very solid argument since I can't seem to find the time for things that I would like to do either. I have about three months' worth of TIME magazine that I haven't been able to find the time to read. I have been able to keep caught up on my Glamour subscription, but that is only because I keep a pile those in the bathroom. (TMI? Deal with it.) I have let most of my magazine subscriptions expire for lack of time, yet I recall being able to read a ton more when I was in Kansas and had about ten million more things to do.
For the moment I am going to blame everything on sleeping in too late. I had a short spurt of energy a bit ago where I finally got some paperwork done and started in on one of the aforementioned issues of TIME. But now it is 9:40pm and none of the places I need to call are open. Few people that I want to talk to are even awake if I take the time difference into consideration. So most likely I will play video games for a couple of hours until I feel like I am tired enough to go to sleep, at which time I will lay awake and watch two or three episodes of Heroes. Then I'll look at the clock, discover it is past 3am, and decide I will start going to bed earlier the next day. The upside to this is that if I ever do want to stay up for a special occasion of some sort, I will be able to; falling asleep at 11pm when my husband was just deciding we should go out was never good. There has *got* to be a happy medium though...

Todays + List

2009-03-15T22:05:00.001-07:00

Since I seem to be focusing on the negatives a lot lately, I am going to consider some random positive things that are making me happy today:
- I ordered my Team Edward shirt today, finally. Yes, I am a big Twilight nerd - no judging!
- My sheets have polka dots on them and my bed now looks cute even when I don't bother to make it.
- I got to take a nap today for the first time in a long time.
- The wind was blowing through my coconut wind chime outside and I got to enjoy the sound for a good half of the day.

And, umm... that is about all I've got right now, but it is a start! Tomorrow is a new day and I plan on going tanning and making an appointment to get my hair highlighted later this week so maybe I will feel a bit better.

Here's to surviving another weekend with Mom! ;)

Not Even a Real Post

2009-03-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

I typed up a ridiculously long post about how many little silly things went wrong today and then realized how annoyingly whiny it sounded... so I deleted it. And I just don't have the energy to re-write it. I am not sure why I am even writing this other than the fact that I promised I was going to try and update my blog more often and I'd like to pretend this actually counts ;)

Slacking

2009-02-27T02:05:00.001-08:00

How in the world do people remember to update their blogs on a daily basis? I seem to be lucky these days if I average more than two posts a month...

Moving right along

2009-02-18T22:35:00.000-08:00

I did watch the Super Bowl, and I did go to Seattle. I survived all that too.

The last week has been a mess of paperwork and contracts and legalese. First, my petition for residency status for PSU. Then, my argument with the place I ordered my TV from for delivering me the version that is $500 less than the model I ordered. And of course, there is the ongoing battle with my old apartment complex from Kansas, the Bluffs.

I went to orientation at Portland State on Monday and sat through over two hours of blabbering on by people that were very cordial but must have thought we were all dumber than doorknobs. Who knows, maybe most of the other people in the room were cursed with sub-par levels of intelligence and that is why they applied to Portland State in the first place. Either way, I met with an adviser in the last five minutes that I was there, and that almost made the whole visit worthwhile. He helped me to figure out how to plan my major(s) so that I could take psychology classes and history classes and political sciences classes by majoring in social sciences and minoring in law and legal studies. This would allow me to finish my junior and senior years by summer 2010, since I am speedy like that.

As I sat in traffic on the Sunset Highway on the way home, I contemplated what it would mean for the rest of my life if I didn't major in Psychology and instead went to law school after I finished my bachelor's degree. Then I came home and relaxed into my favorite leather man-chair, almost kind of excited that going to law school might actually become a reality for me. But then I got online and started reading up on it and discovered that I would need to take my LSAT at the beginning of my senior year which, the way I was planning things, would be this fall. And of course I haven't studied one bit. I am nowhere near prepared. So it looks like it might be a double major situation for me by default, if for no other reason than to buy me some more time before the dreaded LSAT.

Either way, I feel like I am finally moving in the right direction, even though it took me so long to find this path. A small part of me is still terrified that I am going to make the wrong decision, and all of me is scared that everything is coming up so soon. But it is a good kind of scared, quite different from the fear I have been feeling all this time over going nowhere.

Putting forth an effort

2009-01-28T23:53:00.000-08:00

I am done painting.
      and I survived it.
The new carpet is in.
      and I survived that too.
I got a $6.99 haircut at Great Clips.
      and I am still alive to tell about it.
I have assembled many pieces of Ikea furniture in the past few days.
      and I am actually getting pretty good at it.

This has essentially been my past week. I have not been compulsively shopping or getting into any trouble at all. I also have rarely left the house and even less often have I gotten dressed before 5pm. But I really am trying to get better. I am hoping to watch the Super Bowl this weekend even though I don't suppose it is going to be a very good one, and my plan is to go to Seattle the next weekend. Somehow I will make things better.

A "Not a Real Update" Update

2009-01-18T23:30:00.000-08:00

Somehow I think that if I type something here I will feel less guilty, even if I am not posting about my road trip like I promised.
This last week has been a disaster of trying to find new carpet and various other home improvement related tasks. And people wonder why I am not so excited to be home.
On a more positive note (maybe), I am going to be painting for the first time tomorrow... I have never painted anything larger than uh... an 8 1/2" x 11" watercolor before, and now I am tackling an entire room. Armed with blue tape and some paint from the Home Depot, I expect this to be an experience to say the least.

Great Expectations

2009-01-11T15:49:00.000-08:00

I often envision myself writing in this blog on a regular basis, perhaps updating on a daily basis even, sharing my life's adventures with all of you. I have some sort of strange admiration for the authors of those blogs I read or have read that write so much that you feel like you know them, even if you don't. I am not one for New Year's Resolutions, so I didn't make any. However, I am considering making a list of 43 things, so we'll see how that goes. One of these days...

In the meantime, I will make a valiant effort to update with how my trip actually went, complete with photos if I feel really motivated. I ended up putting Hobbes on a plane, changing my route, and arriving in Oregon in one of the worst snowstorms Portland has ever had. It was great fun.
And now that I'm here, I am on a mission to find more things to do to keep busy. I am joining a book club, looking for friends, and planning visits to Seattle (again), Multnomah Falls, and the new zip lines when they open in the Gorge.

The next couple of days I am working on getting the spare room fit for sleeping so that i have a place to rest my tired bones in between mini-adventures ;)

19 days and counting...

2008-11-16T14:55:00.000-08:00

19 days until I leave Kansas!

To update anyone reading this that doesn't know me personally, I am leaving on December 5th or 6th to head back to Oregon for a couple of months. I will be driving the entire way with Hobbes, my cat, and I will be driving the looong way because I expect the passes will have snow by that time. On the first leg of my journey I will be going through Amarillo, Albuquerque and Flagstaff on my way to the Los Angeles area. I will probably stay there for a couple of days to rest up and visit with my Godmother who lives in the area. Then it will be back to Portland via the Pacific Coast Highway. I am hoping I stop in San Francisco for a night, since I have never been there and would hate to pass up an opportunity when I am right there...
All in all, that would make six days of driving and five nights in hotels. With a cat. Thats an intimidating thought, although I am not sure if it is as scary as the fact that my stuff is being moved to storage in two weeks and I have barely - and I mean barely - started packing.

Hillary

2008-05-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

So, I finally got around to flipping through my May 5 Newsweek. I bought it for the spread on Obama, and as I was looking through the pictures, one of them just jumped out at me. It was a picture of an older, curly-haired woman wearing a Hillary Clinton campaign sticker on her face. The thing that stood out to me the most was that she looked so happy. (I will have to post the picture later if I can.) And then it hit me - a woman is running for president. People all over the nation must be so proud and so excited, especially those old enough to come from a time when there is no way in hell this ever could have happened.

Something about seeing that photograph, and that woman's face, made me feel bad for disliking Hillary. Maybe I never gave her a chance, maybe I was a little to quick to badmouth her. I mean, I guess that is how politics goes, but did I have to be so unforgiving? I know the answer to that, and it is no, I didn't have to be like that. Maybe I didn't give her a chance because she is a woman, and that is really not fair. So here it is -- if by some slim chance, Hillary is up for the presidency, I will not automatically vote for McCain. I will not move to Canada. I will not plot to overthrow the goverment (I wouldn't do that one anyway, but still...).

I am also deciding to try and give people a chance, and not just Hillary, but everyone else too. But more on that later because I have a cranky husband who keeps texting me and an essay on Vietnamization and pacification that is due in 21 minutes. Back to real life...

introduction

2008-05-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

I created this blog partly because my English Comp teacher said I really should keep writing even though my class with him was over, and partly because I had something to say at this very moment... Only now that I've taken the time to find someplace to write it down, I have completely forgotten what it was that I wanted to say in the first place.

So instead, a disclaimer:
This blog is entitled 'inconsideration.' According to dictionary.com:
in·con·sid·er·ate [in-kuhn-sid-er-it]
–adjective
1.
without due regard for the rights or feelings of others: It was inconsiderate of him to keep us waiting.
2.
acting without consideration; thoughtless; heedless.
3.
overhasty; rash; ill-considered: slovenly, inconsiderate reasoning.

It is likely that I will be inconsiderate of many things when I write here, including your political views, your taste in music, and the rules of grammar and punctuation most certainly. Also, I must mention that my "k" key likes to get stuck and I don't always feel like going back and adding in the missed letters, so please forgive me.

That said, this will probably be one of the few times that I address you, my audience, directly since this blog is more for me than it is for you and I feel awkward writing to an imaginary person anyway. If anyone is reading this, thanks, and please do leave me a comment to say hello =)