another weekend, another plan

I slept in this morning until just before 10:00, and as I was laying there in bed mentally preparing myself for the day, I thought back to how Saturday mornings used to be when I was a kid. My Saturday mornings were pretty typical - I might watch some Saturday morning cartoons, I'd eat an extra bowl of whatever sugar encrusted cereal was around at the time, then I would dart outside to play with the neighborhood kids in the sunshine. Those were the days.

Somehow it seems as if Saturdays have lost their luster. I'm sure this is partially because I am older and, to be honest, have no interest in watching cartoons anymore. If I did, I could watch them whenever I wanted on the Cartoon Network anyway, so it doesn't even matter. Besides that, for some reason when I don't have an 8 to 5 job, weekends aren't so special anymore. They are a lot like my Tuesdays and Thursdays when I don't have class. Sure, now I have two days in a row, but unless I have some activity planned that spans more than 24 hours, who really cares?

For some strange reason when I am here, I wake up on Saturday mornings and feel like I have two days to be as productive as humanly possible, as if my weekends are measured not by how much I enjoy them, but by how much I get done. Maybe this is a by-product of the remorse I feel over so many weekends at my Mom's house wasted in front of the television. Maybe it's just that I can't stand the prospect of being stuck in this place for two entire days straight. I'm not sure what it is.

The sad part is, that I am all talk. I'll wake up Saturday morning and make all these plans for what I intend to get done this weekend, and if I were to sit down on Sunday night and review those goals, I'd be disappointed every time.

This weekend my goals are:

- get all my assigned readings done for school this coming week

- get caught up on homework for my online class

- wash all of my laundry that I haven't done since coming back from vacation

- visit my Grandma

- clean my room (put away all the straggling vacation treasures, clothes, random clutter)

- go to the gym at least once; schedule an appointment with my trainer for later this week

- go to the farmer's market

- get out to see Eliza for at least a few minutes

- copy the CDs in my CD book on to iTunes (necessary since my iPod went missing in LA)

- get caught up on cycle 15 of ANTM

- make guacamole

...annnd that's all I can think of right now. My mom has basically ordered me (in a way only a mother can) to clean her house in the next week or two, so I will hopefully get started on that as well. Mom is bordering on hoarder status, for those of you who don't know, so this will most certainly be a challenge. I can't wait.

my esthetician, my therapist

I cannot believe it has been so long since I was on here swearing to update this blog soon. I can't believe how much has happened since then either.

I went to see my waxer today, and my waxer is like my therapist, only probably more expensive. She always asks me about my life and I always spill my guts to her without thinking twice as if that is the perfectly normal thing to do; she knows more about my personal life than a lot of my friends do. She asked about my vacation and I told her (in a few sentences) how everything went. I told her about the guy who blew me off and the new guy I met who I thought I'd never see after those two weeks we spent together and how he's just said he wants to come visit me in Oregon. I was sure to add that I didn't see that going anywhere because he's not what I need - he is too wild, too short, with too much baggage. And she said to me, as if it were nothing, "we can't help who we fall in love with."

I never said anything about love, but somehow the matter-of-fact way she spoke those words is just sticking with me... can we really not help it? If we can't, then is there some sort of override button for those times when we fall in love with someone we shouldn't? There should be.