Saturday, December 1, 2012

making mountains from molehills

Lately, it seems I have gotten into the habit of turning every little problem into a great big catastrophe. To put it mildly, I have developed a tendency to overreact. I think a big part of it is situational--winter season has not started yet in California so I am not working yet and all I have to do is sit around the house and dwell on things. I have been watching a lot of TV and trying to get some decent reading time in, but mostly I find that I spend a lot of time planning for the future and stressing out. So when something minor goes wrong, I tend to spend a lot of time dwelling on it because I have nothing but time right now. 

Image Source: know your meme

Prime example: the dry desert air has been doing a real number on my contact lenses. My eyes have been getting dry and I feel like a film of dust has collected on my eyeballs. It is annoying to say the least and my vision has suffered for it. I had one last pair of contact lenses saved up but hadn't wanted to put them in because putting in my last pair means I need to order another box and I didn't want to do that until we had more income coming in. Finally, after a near-blind drive to the Redbox kiosk late last night, I decided I needed to bite the bullet and change my damn contacts. Fast-forward to this afternoon... I am searching high and low for my contacts and they are nowhere to be found. I call my mom and ask her to search around her house since I had stayed there for awhile mid-move. She looked everywhere but found nothing. I asked my boyfriend if I had maybe packed them with some of his stuff and he responded with "what do they even look like?" No help there. I searched all the toiletry boxes. I scoured the linen closet. I went to the garage and looked through all the pockets in our suitcases. I tipped shoes over and shook, hoping my contacts would come flying out. I looked everywhere. Eventually, I threw in the towel. I let my frustration get the best of me and was thisclose to a foot-stomping tantrum moment. I let my negativity take over and started feeling like no matter what I do, something is destined to go wrong.

And then I wandered into my closet for the umpteenth time and my eyes settled on a gift box on the tippity-top shelf. I pulled it down and shook it, but it felt like only the tissue paper was inside. I opened it anyway and lo and behold, there were the elusive contact lenses, nestled between tissue paper and an abandoned store receipt.

Next came apologies to my mother for ranting about how much I hate life and grateful thank you's that she took the time to look. Eventually I will have to enter the man cave and tell my other half that I am sorry for my almost-tantrum over my stupid contacts, but I haven't quite worked up the courage yet. Its possible that he didn't even notice, although I suspect he hides in the man cave because he does notice when I start feeling defeated.

Of course, now that my eyes are feeling somewhat fresher and the crisis is averted (new box of contacts is currently in the mail, just in case), I feel kind of silly. I've been feeling that way a lot lately but yet I still keep freaking out over little things. I mean, I do have legitimate things to stress out over (if there is such a thing), but I really shouldn't let that carry over to the tiny things that frankly don't matter much at all. I just haven't quite figured out a way to keep calm. I hope blogging again will help, but I am open to exploring other options as well and hopefully I will eventually be able to mellow out.

What helps you to keep calm when life gets stressful?


Caitlin said...

It always seems to be the little things that break you. With the move and all, I have been on edge this week. I plugged in my phone last night to charge it and my cord had died at some point during the day. I just lost it. And I felt like a moron trying to explain that it wasn't the cord, it was just that things kept going wrong and I couldn't even rely on something as simple as a phone charger to work. :/ I identify completely with these feelings. I have taken up jogging and it seems to help with the stress a bit.

[in]consideration said...

The phone charger thing would probably have done me in as well, if it happened when I was mid- stress attack anyway...

I feel like the importance of these little things is further magnified for me right now because my whole life revolves around the domestic (I am still waiting for my winter job to start), so it is all I have to concentrate on. A ruined meal is a bigger deal right now because I don't have the successes and failures of the rest of the day to balance everything out.

I am in such horrible shape I think jogging may just do me in, but I did walk/hike a 3/4 mile -ish round trip to get the mail today...maybe I can work up to some legit exercise, haha.