Thursday, January 10, 2013

sick, tired, uninspired

I know I said I was going to write more often in this blog, and I haven't forgotten my plan, I promise. I've just been a bit preoccupied with life and really...uninspired lately.

I caught the flu for I am pretty sure the first time in my adult life just before New Years and that put me in bed for the better part of a week. I am not talking about the gut-exploding 24 hours in the bathroom stomach flu, but the fever, aches, pains, stuffy head, miserable, no-energy flu. It sucked and I was pretty sure it was going to last FOREVER. But it didn't. That part at least. I am still dealing with a little cough and a stuffy nose but it sure beats how I felt last week!

So my New Years was not celebrated in any way, other than a celebratory text from my mom at 12:01 am that roused me from my half-daze in front of a Criminal Minds marathon.

Christmas, on the other hand, was pretty good. After working out a little scheduling kink at work, we both got the day off and went to spend it with my mom and godmother. We opened presents and did the usual Christmas-y things. It was nice to have family around at the holidays again, but I still miss the days where our huge extended family gathered at my aunt and uncle's in Oregon for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year. I haven't seen some of my cousins in years now (literally, years!) and I find that to be terribly unacceptable. I hope we can have a Christmas reunion next year!

Other than surviving the holidays I've spent the last few weeks fighting with lawyers over paperwork and making fruitless calls to Tricare to figure out some old insurance issues. In fact, I foresee another (probably entirely useless) call to them as soon as I finish writing this. A request for a simple accounting of anything related to my blood clot drama is apparently a process that takes many months if you are a government contracted insurance company. Surprise, surprise.

So yeah, I'm a bit bitter. I have been involved in a long and somewhat frustrating lawsuit for the better part of a year, and it is really trying my patience. One of these days I'm sure I'll blog about it. In the meantime, I keep trying to remind myself "it could be worse," but that is little consolation. I just want this whole thing to be over so I can get back to relaxing and planning for the future with at least some degree of certainty.

In the midst of all this, I have been trying to get everything together to finalize my law school applications, at least two years after I initially started this process. I realized I was just not ready when I took my first LSAT after barely studying and I couldn't motivate myself to get everything together to submit to LSAC. Even now, I find myself having a hard time setting everything else aside to focus on my future, but I feel that I've thoroughly evaluated my alternatives at this point and law school remains my number one choice. I do have a plan B and a plan C, however, in case things don't work out as I'd like them to. More on that later as well I suppose, especially since plan B may become my bridge to plan A anyway...

Obviously I do have a lot of big things going on that I can blog about, as well as plenty of tidbits from my daily life, but I just need to get my head together and relax my soul a bit more before I get in any kind of habit of writing regularly. I never want this to be something I begrudgingly do out of obligation; I'd rather it remains a joy for me.

Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and the new year is starting off the way you'd hoped! See you all soon, probably with a barrage of posting sometime in the next week. ;)

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

I'm glad you're recovered (-ing?) from that nasty bug. From what we've seen on the news, the flu is sweeping across the country and is not being terribly kind. :(

I don't necessarily understand exactly what you're going through, but I know how frustrating TRICARE can be... They've never been an easy organization to work with and I'm avoiding going into the office to get my insurance changed for overseas. I am not excited about the process but I really need to get it over with...since I've lived here for almost a month. Sometimes I am too lazy. Good luck with getting all of that resolved!

Always keep blogging, even if you feel as though you're not saying anything substantial. I have written blogs that were a few sentences before just to get something out there. I always journaled as a kid and I find it has a similar calming effect even if the few sentences I can squeeze out are less-than-stellar. I always enjoy reading your updates!