Thursday, June 14, 2012

when the past haunts my dreams

Last night I had a really strange dream about my high school crush. In the dream he was visiting me for some reason, although we were both staying with my family in my hometown. At the start of the dream, I remember leaving him hanging out in my room alone while I visited with family and took care of domestic chores. Then dream-me realized that I was being awfully rude in just leaving him shut up in a room all by himself, which I attributed to still being too scared to face him like a normal person even after all these years had passed. So I went back to check on him, found him asleep, and began rubbing his back to wake him up. (I was too scared to talk to him but here I was rubbing his back while he was asleep in my bed? Real logical dream-me...)

Once he woke up, I apologized to him and we hugged it out. Then we talked, about what I don't remember. At one point he kissed me and I guess dream-me was unattached because I definitely let him. It was innocent and sweet and somewhat foreign. He was tentative and gentle and the whole thing was not at all like I would imagine it would have gone down in real life. I remember him asking me if there was a bathtub in the house because apparently he wanted to take a bath with me. All dream-me could think of was 'holy crap, I will have to get naked in front of him!'

When a noise in the house woke real-life-me up this morning, I made myself go back to sleep, wishing that the dream would continue. I don't know why the dream made such an impact on me, or why I even had the dream in the first place. I wasn't thinking about my crush, the past, or anything remotely related. My crush didn't even look like my crush did or does now; somehow I just knew it was supposed to be him. I guess dreams are just funny that way.

Regardless of the complete pointlessness of this dream and the fact that I am at least mildly weirded out that I had it in the first place and even more freaked that I enjoyed it...I now want to facebook stalk this guy. I pretty much want to facebook stalk anyone from high school that I can find now! Does anyone else ever get this urge? Or am I just completely crazy? It's okay, I can take it.

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